I’m sorry, but you sound like a dog.

I’d like to start off with a kudos and congratulations to actress Mira Sorvino and hubby Christopher Backus on the birth of their wonderfully-named baby boy: Holden Paul Terry Backus! Don’t know Mira? Maybe not her name, but you’ll remember her: She starred in Mighty Aphrodite as Linda Ash (1995), Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion as Romy White (1997), The Great Gatsby as Daisy Buchanan (2000), and guest starred in a 2008 episode of House (“Frozen”) as Dr. Cate Milton. Now you probably remember her. She had a long, complicated pregnancy, but now it’s reported that mother and son are just fine. Holden joins fellow wonderfully-named sister Mattea Angel (born 2004) and brother John “Johnny” Christopher King (born 2006). Congrats for the birth, kudos on the names!

And now, onto the post that goes along with the eyebrow-raising title. This post is based on names commonly used on babies, but sound (to me, at least) like they belong on a Cocker Spaniel.

***Note: Some of these names are nicknames. Some of these nicknames sound perfectly human when used in their longer form, but these nicknames, to me, sound canine-inspired. Also, no offense to anyone who likes/has/knows anyone with a name listed here.***

The Bitches: (No, I’m not being derogatory.)
• Coco
• Daisy
• Dixie
• Lily (I’m just so sick and tired of hearing this name on little girls, it’s a breath of fresh air to hear it on a dog.)
• Lottie
• Maisie
• Molly
• Maggie
• Piper
• Poppy
• Posey
• Sadie
• Sasha

The Studs:
• Bruce
• Bruno
• Brutus
• Carl/Carlos
• Chance
• Chase
• Cooper
• Hank
• Oscar
• Rusty/Russell

But, like I said, most of these are just nicknames that are wonderful on a human child if they have a longer name form. Would any of you like to share names you think sound best fit for pups? C’mon now, I’ll give you a treat if you do!

Birth Announcements and the Names that Follow

I figured that for my first real reporting post, I’d start out by researching new babies’ names in my area. So, as of recently, these little tykes have been blessed (or cursed) with these monikers:

Girlies:
• Abigail Marie Angel
• Abilene Rose
• Addison Grace
• Alexis Marie
• Amelia Rose
• Avery Marie
(Grr! I hate Avery on a girl!)
• Blakely Ann
• Brook Eliza
• Brooke Nicole
• Cassandra Marie
• Danielle Elizabeth
• Elizabeth Renee
• Emma Louise
• Emma Marie
(Could they have chosen a more predictable name??)
• Giara Star Marie
• Gracie Mae
• Isabella Eileen
• Isabella Lorraine
• Izabelle Grace
• Jaxz JoAnnah
(They just completely f’d up this kid’s life.)
• Jordyn Alexis
• Kelsey Anyda
(They totally butchered Anita here.)
• Kinsley Rae
• Liliana Elizabeth
• Lily Reed
• Lilyana Elaine
(and Trey Richard)
• Margaret Elizabeth
• Miranda Morgan
• Mariah Belle
• Paige
(no middle name)
• Paige Elizabeth
• Paige Nikole
• Payton Lynne
• Penny Lane
• Peyton Grace
• Raine Lee
(and Rylee Ann)
• Rylee Ann (and Raine Lee)
• Sara Lynn
• Serenity-Ann Elaine
• Sydney Grace
• Victoria Lynn
• Violet Jane
• Zoe Belle
• Zoey Ann-Marie
• Zoey Rae

Lil Men:
• Alexander Douglas
• Camden James
• Charles Anthony
• Cody James
• Connor James
• Daniel James
• David Martin
• Deacon Richard
• Ethan Gunner
• Gage Stephen
• Gavin James
• Harper David
(YES!)
• Isaiel Deseo
• Jonathen Maison
(They had to butcher both names?!)
• Kamrin Michael
• Kayden Robert
• Landon Jeffrey
• Logan Avery
• Logan Douglas
• Mason Richard
• Mason Russell
• Matthew David
• Maxwell Lorenz
• Michael Lloyd
• Rashad Lee
• Rhyder Dean
• Rick Hayden
• Ryder
(no middle name)
• Timothy Stephen
• Tony Ray
• Trevor Matthew
• Trey Richard
(and Lilyana Elaine)
• Troy David
• Ty James
• Wesley Gordon

I’d like to mention that Raine Lee and Rylee Ann are my sister’s best friend’s nieces. Congrats, Katrina, on your new nieces!!

My favorites were probably Amelia Rose and Abilene Rose for the girls (Abilene completely off-handed me here, I just found out about this name! Expect a NoTD shortly on the name). For the boys, Harper David was the clear winner. I’m just thrilled that Harper was used on a boy! It’s definitely on my Wildcard list, as of now.

My least favorites are… bad. Very, very, very bad. I feel so sorry for Jaxz JoAnnah. (And Serenity-Ann, but she’s not nearly as bad.) They couldn’t have at least used Jazz Joanna? Or, in a perfect world, Jasmine Josephine? Sigh… I pity that kid, truly and dearly. Who else thinks the parents were illiterate 14-year-olds? The boy, on the other hand, isn’t completely terrible… Just a horrible spelling of a very bad name to start. Rhyder takes the cake here, and I can only imagine how many times he’ll say R-H-Y-D-E-R in his life. (I’m guessing somewhere around the billions.) Names like Rashad and Isaiel I’ll discount on a ‘foreign parents’ charge, but if these people are Anglo-Saxon, they have no excuse for those names. (Kamrin, Jonathen, and Kayden almost took top prize for Worst Boy’s Name.)

So, what do you think? Are the 2 Abbys, 3 Isabella/Izabelles, 3 Lily variants, 3 Paiges, 2 Peyton/Paytons, 3 Zoe(y)s, 2 Logans, 2 Masons, and 2 R(h)yders surprising to you? Are you surprised at the amount of Belles in the middle place? The Lynns, Roses, Maries, Raes, James’, Douglas’ — Are they too much?

***These names were gotten from birth announcements during June/early July of ’09 in my area.***