The Maury Babies

So, I was sitting on my couch, just updating my Facebook and creating my new personal blog (check it out here), when Maury came on. I usually don’t watch it, in fact, I’ve probably only seen it three times — But this one caught my eye. This episode had more baby-daddy DNA tests than any other, with multiple men refusing babies, and multiple women for each man saying he’s the father. Being a complete name nerd, the names more than anything got my attention. So here are the babies with fleeting fathers:

1. Amber and Ashley are teenaged sisters, 17 and 16, respectively, who claim that their babies are fathered by teenaged brothers (not their brothers), who are 17 and 20, respectively. Amber claims 17-year-old Gabe is the father of her baby girl, Payton (didn’t see spelling, might be Peyton), and Ashley claims 20-year-old Dana is the father of her baby girl, Angel.

Amber and Gabe’s Baby: Payton (G) — Proclaimed father IS the baby’s daddy
Ashley and Dana’s Baby: Angel (G) — Proclaimed father IS the baby’s daddy

2. Shawmikia, Brittany, and Jasmine are three women who each claim that one man, Cory, is the father of each of their children.

Shawmikia and Cory’s Baby: Na’Tae (G) — Proclaimed father IS the baby’s daddy
Brittany and Cory’s Baby: Xzavion (B) — Proclaimed father IS the baby’s daddy
Jasmine and Cory’s Baby: Jeremiah (B) — Proclaimed father IS NOT the baby’s daddy

3. Alicia was Tommy’s girlfriend for several months until Tommy abandoned pregnant Alicia, and he moved on to Brandi, who also got pregnant. Both claim Tommy is the father of their child, but Brandi is convincing Tommy that he is not the father of Alicia’s baby. Brandi’s baby was born only three days before Alicia’s baby.

Alicia and Tommy’s Baby: Bryce (B) — Proclaimed father IS the baby’s daddy
Brandi and Tommy’s Baby: Ryan (B) — Proclaimed father IS NOT the baby’s daddy

4. Jennifer slept with brothers Danny and David within weeks, became pregnant, and is unsure of who is the father. Danny was tested first, and signed the birth certificate, although he did not know whether he was the father at the time. David was tested second, and says he hopes he is not the father.

Jennifer and Danny/David’s Baby: Imani Jolie (G) — Danny IS NOT the father; David IS the father

(This one was heartbreaking… They shows the brothers backstage, and Danny was outwardly crying about not being Imani’s father. He was crushed… It really made me sad.)

5. Haydee was working at a club at a rough time in her life, and in a short amount of time, slept with three different men. She became pregnant, gave birth, and said it was bittersweet, as she was elated at her child’s birth, but sad that she didn’t know who the father was. Early in her pregnancy, she thought Ray was the father. Later on, she thought the third, unnamed man was the father. After her child’s birth, she thought Edwin was the father.

Haydee and Ray/Edwin/Name Withheld’s Baby: Lynn (G) — Name Withheld IS NOT the father; Ray IS NOT the father; Edwin IS NOT the father

(That was an emotional moment! Three guys, not the father… Wow.)

6. Ruth was put into a foster home at three years old. At six, she was diagnosed with both speech problems and a learning disability. At fifteen, she was looking for someone to love her, and she started sleeping with many men. She’s hoping her boyfriend Keith is the father, but two other men, Dustin and Daniel, may also be her baby’s daddy. (There could be as many as five that may be the father of Ruth’s baby.)

Ruth and Keith/Dustin/Daniel’s Baby: Angel (G) — Dustin IS NOT the father; Daniel IS NOT the father; Keith IS NOT the father

(Well, there were 5+ men that could have fathered the kid…)

7. Misty had no idea who the father of her child is, and there are four men who may be the baby’s daddy. All men believe they are not the father; several believe Misty is a whore. Dee and Timboo are brothers.

Misty and Mario/Dee/Timboo/Black’s Baby: Ron (B) — Black IS NOT the father; Mario IS NOT the father; Timboo IS NOT the father; Dee IS NOT the father

(Interesting, considering Misty said earlier there was no chance of anyone else being Ron’s father.)

8. Jolie was so desperate for a child, that she actually slept with her mother’s fiance (Steve). She became pregnant, and worries that if her mother’s fiance is the father, her relationship with her mother will be ruined. Jolie’s ex-boyfriend (Mike) may also be the father.

Jolie and Steve/Mike’s Baby: Brianna (G) — Mike IS NOT the father; Steve IS NOT the father

So, Payton, Angel, Na’Tae, Xzavion, Jeremiah, Bryce, Ryan, Imani, Lynn, Angel, Ron, and Brianna… Prepare to have a tough life!

Is it just me, or is the fact that two female Angels cropped up in this field not surprising? What do you think, guys?

I’m sorry, but you sound like a dog.

I’d like to start off with a kudos and congratulations to actress Mira Sorvino and hubby Christopher Backus on the birth of their wonderfully-named baby boy: Holden Paul Terry Backus! Don’t know Mira? Maybe not her name, but you’ll remember her: She starred in Mighty Aphrodite as Linda Ash (1995), Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion as Romy White (1997), The Great Gatsby as Daisy Buchanan (2000), and guest starred in a 2008 episode of House (“Frozen”) as Dr. Cate Milton. Now you probably remember her. She had a long, complicated pregnancy, but now it’s reported that mother and son are just fine. Holden joins fellow wonderfully-named sister Mattea Angel (born 2004) and brother John “Johnny” Christopher King (born 2006). Congrats for the birth, kudos on the names!

And now, onto the post that goes along with the eyebrow-raising title. This post is based on names commonly used on babies, but sound (to me, at least) like they belong on a Cocker Spaniel.

***Note: Some of these names are nicknames. Some of these nicknames sound perfectly human when used in their longer form, but these nicknames, to me, sound canine-inspired. Also, no offense to anyone who likes/has/knows anyone with a name listed here.***

The Bitches: (No, I’m not being derogatory.)
• Coco
• Daisy
• Dixie
• Lily (I’m just so sick and tired of hearing this name on little girls, it’s a breath of fresh air to hear it on a dog.)
• Lottie
• Maisie
• Molly
• Maggie
• Piper
• Poppy
• Posey
• Sadie
• Sasha

The Studs:
• Bruce
• Bruno
• Brutus
• Carl/Carlos
• Chance
• Chase
• Cooper
• Hank
• Oscar
• Rusty/Russell

But, like I said, most of these are just nicknames that are wonderful on a human child if they have a longer name form. Would any of you like to share names you think sound best fit for pups? C’mon now, I’ll give you a treat if you do!

Birth Announcements and the Names that Follow

I figured that for my first real reporting post, I’d start out by researching new babies’ names in my area. So, as of recently, these little tykes have been blessed (or cursed) with these monikers:

• Abigail Marie Angel
• Abilene Rose
• Addison Grace
• Alexis Marie
• Amelia Rose
• Avery Marie
(Grr! I hate Avery on a girl!)
• Blakely Ann
• Brook Eliza
• Brooke Nicole
• Cassandra Marie
• Danielle Elizabeth
• Elizabeth Renee
• Emma Louise
• Emma Marie
(Could they have chosen a more predictable name??)
• Giara Star Marie
• Gracie Mae
• Isabella Eileen
• Isabella Lorraine
• Izabelle Grace
• Jaxz JoAnnah
(They just completely f’d up this kid’s life.)
• Jordyn Alexis
• Kelsey Anyda
(They totally butchered Anita here.)
• Kinsley Rae
• Liliana Elizabeth
• Lily Reed
• Lilyana Elaine
(and Trey Richard)
• Margaret Elizabeth
• Miranda Morgan
• Mariah Belle
• Paige
(no middle name)
• Paige Elizabeth
• Paige Nikole
• Payton Lynne
• Penny Lane
• Peyton Grace
• Raine Lee
(and Rylee Ann)
• Rylee Ann (and Raine Lee)
• Sara Lynn
• Serenity-Ann Elaine
• Sydney Grace
• Victoria Lynn
• Violet Jane
• Zoe Belle
• Zoey Ann-Marie
• Zoey Rae

Lil Men:
• Alexander Douglas
• Camden James
• Charles Anthony
• Cody James
• Connor James
• Daniel James
• David Martin
• Deacon Richard
• Ethan Gunner
• Gage Stephen
• Gavin James
• Harper David
• Isaiel Deseo
• Jonathen Maison
(They had to butcher both names?!)
• Kamrin Michael
• Kayden Robert
• Landon Jeffrey
• Logan Avery
• Logan Douglas
• Mason Richard
• Mason Russell
• Matthew David
• Maxwell Lorenz
• Michael Lloyd
• Rashad Lee
• Rhyder Dean
• Rick Hayden
• Ryder
(no middle name)
• Timothy Stephen
• Tony Ray
• Trevor Matthew
• Trey Richard
(and Lilyana Elaine)
• Troy David
• Ty James
• Wesley Gordon

I’d like to mention that Raine Lee and Rylee Ann are my sister’s best friend’s nieces. Congrats, Katrina, on your new nieces!!

My favorites were probably Amelia Rose and Abilene Rose for the girls (Abilene completely off-handed me here, I just found out about this name! Expect a NoTD shortly on the name). For the boys, Harper David was the clear winner. I’m just thrilled that Harper was used on a boy! It’s definitely on my Wildcard list, as of now.

My least favorites are… bad. Very, very, very bad. I feel so sorry for Jaxz JoAnnah. (And Serenity-Ann, but she’s not nearly as bad.) They couldn’t have at least used Jazz Joanna? Or, in a perfect world, Jasmine Josephine? Sigh… I pity that kid, truly and dearly. Who else thinks the parents were illiterate 14-year-olds? The boy, on the other hand, isn’t completely terrible… Just a horrible spelling of a very bad name to start. Rhyder takes the cake here, and I can only imagine how many times he’ll say R-H-Y-D-E-R in his life. (I’m guessing somewhere around the billions.) Names like Rashad and Isaiel I’ll discount on a ‘foreign parents’ charge, but if these people are Anglo-Saxon, they have no excuse for those names. (Kamrin, Jonathen, and Kayden almost took top prize for Worst Boy’s Name.)

So, what do you think? Are the 2 Abbys, 3 Isabella/Izabelles, 3 Lily variants, 3 Paiges, 2 Peyton/Paytons, 3 Zoe(y)s, 2 Logans, 2 Masons, and 2 R(h)yders surprising to you? Are you surprised at the amount of Belles in the middle place? The Lynns, Roses, Maries, Raes, James’, Douglas’ — Are they too much?

***These names were gotten from birth announcements during June/early July of ’09 in my area.***